Ego: The Hidden, Undiagnosed Bottleneck to Growth
Fifteen years ago, I was convinced I could figure everything out on my own.
I was starting my consumer product brand. Running a team in a dermatology office. Sitting on boards in the medical industry. Making big decisions. Managing people. Building something from nothing.
And I genuinely believed that asking for help meant I wasn't ready for what I was building.
Looking back now, that was ego talking.
Not the loud, arrogant kind. The quiet kind that whispers: "You should know this. You should have the answer. If you need help, you're not qualified…you are not “enough" to do this.”
For almost a decade, I operated like this. Making decisions alone. Convinced my perspective was the only one that mattered. Building businesses while carrying the weight of everything on my own shoulders.
I didn't even realize how much I was missing.
Then Everything Changed in 2017
I hit a wall.
I knew I needed help. Business, personally, you name it. I needed help.
So I started hiring business coaches. I started attending masterminds and signed up for dozens of programs. I started putting myself in rooms where I could get perspective I didn't have access to on my own.
And in 2020, I hired my first executive life coach, Ro. Who wasn't even related to business at all. I worked with him for years. He helped me navigate change, wrap my head around massive decisions in both business and life, and process how that change would impact my professional identity and how I could grow as a leader.
Investing in coaching has been life-changing for me.
It's why I spent the next few years getting certified as an executive coach myself. It's why I brushed up on my psychology skills from my degree in college, particularly pattern recognition of human behavior. (And while coaching isn't therapy, I'd be lying if I said those skills don't make an impact on what I do.)
Because I know what it's like to operate from ego without even knowing it. I know what it costs you. And I know what is possible when you finally let yourself get the help you need.
The Research
According to Stanford Graduate School of Business, nearly two-thirds of CEOs and senior executives don't receive outside leadership coaching or advisory support. The most common reason? "I don't need it." They think “I got this far, I can figure out the next step” or they think they only need “tactical coaches” from inside their industry teaching the “one thing that will change everything”.
I said the same thing for almost a decade.
Meanwhile, research from the Neuroleadership Institute shows that leaders have an average of 3-5 significant blind spots that directly impact business performance, and 92% are unaware of at least one critical blind spot affecting their decision-making.
I had them. You probably do too.
Spoiler alert….Ego keeps you from seeing what you can't see.
What Ego Actually Looks Like
Ego doesn't show up as arrogance.
It shows up as tunnel vision. As resistance to input. As prioritizing being right over being effective.
And here's what makes it trickier: ego can fluctuate.
One day, you believe you're the only one with the answers. You make decisions alone. You don't ask for input.
Another day, you share too much with team members who don't need to know that level of detail about behind-the-scenes business decisions. You involve people in conversations that aren't theirs to be part of.
Being a leader is a balancing act of keeping ego in check and at the same time not oversharing with the team.
I've seen this pattern over and over in my own leadership and in the leaders I work with.
An insurance agency CEO I know leads over 8,000 employees with record-breaking sales. But he refuses to consider new communication systems because "we're doing fine." His executive team watches cross-department dysfunction slow growth. Conservative estimates suggest he's left $15-20M on the table.
Or the manager leader who says "I trust my team" but doesn't delegate any impactful decision-making. Who says they want ideas but shuts down any input that isn't from core leadership. Who preaches boundaries yet involves team members in decisions that aren't theirs to make.
Your brain will justify the disconnect. That's cognitive dissonance.
I lived this. I justified it. Until I couldn't anymore.
What Actually Happens When You Address It
I worked with a CEO in Los Angeles who was convinced her sales strategy was the bottleneck. Revenue had plateaued. She'd tried everything.
Within the first week of working together, the issue was clear. It wasn't sales. It was team structure and communication breakdowns.
We made the right fires. Made the right hires. Implemented new communication systems.
Within 6 months, she launched an entirely new division.
Leaders who engage executive coaching see an average of 7x ROI, with 86% reporting measurable business impact within 6 months.
What To Do Instead
Recognize blind spots exist. You can't see your own. I couldn't see mine for almost a decade. Bring in someone who can see what you can't, not because they're smarter, but because they're outside your perspective.
Watch for ego fluctuation. Some days you'll believe you're the only one with the answers. Other days you'll overshare with people who don't need that level of detail. Both are ego.
Separate ego from decision-making. Ask yourself: "Am I making this decision because it's right? Or because my ego doesn't want to admit I need help?"
Invest in an outside perspective. Coaches. Masterminds. Advisors. People who can give you perspective you don't have access to on your own.
Fifteen years ago, I thought asking for help meant I wasn't ready for the next level.. I was weak.
Almost a decade into my entrepreneurial journey, I finally realized: the leaders who reach the highest levels aren't the ones who know everything. They're the ones who know when to ask for help and surround themselves with 2-3 experienced perspectives. I call it the top level of the “WHOs”- I will explain in a future blog.
This perspective changed my life. It changed how I lead.
If you're wondering whether ego or blind spots are affecting your decisions, I built a Decision-Making Diagnostic tool that shows you exactly where cognitive dissonance might be running the show.
It takes less than 5 minutes.
Take the diagnostic here: https://69b0dff894a9178bbecef001--decisiondiagnosisexec.netlify.app/
Because the best leaders aren't the ones who never need help. They're the ones who know when, where, and which “who” to ask for it.
I'm rooting for you and here if you need a “who” in your corner,
Kasey
P.S. I have availability for 2 strategic planning sessions in June, respond to this email if you would like some information on what kind of outcome you could get for your business and life after just one strategic planning session with an experienced executive coach.