How to Lead When Everything Feels Heavy

I've been hearing the same thing from clients for weeks.

"I feel heavier than usual."

"I'm less motivated."

"I get fatigued more easily. I just want to retreat somewhere that feels safe."

And then, almost apologetically: "Is that normal?"

Yes. Completely normal.

And listen, if you're feeling it right now as you read this, I want you to know: you're not weak. You're not failing as a leader. You're not broken.

You're human. And your nervous system is doing exactly what it's designed to do.

What's Actually Happening

You wake up and before you even get out of bed, you're scrolling. News. Policy changes. Things that feel like they're unraveling.

And for the first time in hundreds of years, there's real fear on our own city streets. Not some distant, abstract fear you read about in history books. Fear many of us can see in our neighbors' faces. Across the country people are feeling some fear walking through their own community.

Your brain is taking it all in, what you see, what you hear, what you sense, and it's constantly triggering responses in your body.

And underneath all of it? Fear. Fear of uncertainty of what comes next.

When fear takes over, your amygdala (your threat detection center) activates. Fight or flight kicks in.

For some people, that shows up as anger. Raw, protective rage.

For others, it's the desperate, frantic need to DO something. Anything. Just make it stop.

And for you? Maybe it's the heaviness.

That weight in your chest that wasn't there before. The exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix. The overwhelming urge to just retreat. Find somewhere safe and stay there.

I feel it too.

But here's what I need you to hear: real leaders rise up in times of uncertainty and fear.

Not because they're superhuman. Not because they don't feel what you're feeling.

Because they feel it, every bit of it, and they lead anyway.

Let Me Tell You What Happened to Me

March 2020. COVID hit. The country locked down.

I was terrified. Absolutely terrified.

I'm a medical provider. I was watching colleagues on the frontlines, not knowing if they'd get sick, if their families would be okay. The uncertainty was suffocating.

I remember sitting at my kitchen table thinking: I could just stop. Retreat. Wait for this to be over.

But something in me said: no. Rise up.

So instead of hiding, I started holding weekly webinars for my colleagues in the medical industry. Every single week, I showed up (scared, uncertain, feeling all of it) and I led.

I helped them figure out how to use this terrifying moment not just to survive, but to actually move forward. To re-evaluate. To leverage the pause.

Hundreds of people showed up every week. Because in a world where they couldn't control anything, I was giving them something they COULD control: their own thinking. Their own next move.

That decision to rise up instead of retreat? It jumpstarted a whole new division of my business.

Not because I wasn't afraid. I was shaking.

But I was afraid AND I led anyway.

And that's what I'm asking you to do now.

Here's How You Do It

Step 1: Feel It. Name It. Let It Exist.

You feel heavy right now? Say it out loud. "I feel heavy."

Less motivated than you've ever been? Name it. "I'm struggling with motivation."

Want to retreat and hide? Acknowledge it. "I want to run away from all of this."

Don't try to fix it. Don't shame yourself for feeling it. Just let it be there.

Because when you name it, you create just enough distance between the feeling and who you are. You're not the heaviness. You're a person experiencing heaviness right now.

And from that tiny bit of space, you can choose how you're going to lead anyway.

Step 2: Remember Your Team Is Drowning Too

Your team isn't just stressed. They're struggling just like you are.

One person is lying awake at night filled with rage. Another is paralyzed with anxiety. Another has completely shut down emotionally just to get through the day.

And none of them are wrong for feeling what they're feeling.

Your job (and I know this is hard) isn't to fix them. It's not to make everyone feel better or feel the same way.

Your job is to hold space.

To say: "I know this is really hard right now. We're all feeling different things about what's happening. And that's okay. We don't have to agree. We don't have to feel the same way."

When you do that (when you give people permission to be human) they can breathe again.

Step 3: Find What's Bigger Than This Moment

You're exhausted. I know.

You want to retreat. I get it.

But your team is looking to you. And they need you to hold the vision, not because you have it all figured out, but because you remember why this work matters.

So you dig deep. And you connect to what's bigger than how you're feeling right now.

What are you actually building together? What's the mission that brought you all here in the first place?

Not the revenue targets. Not the quarterly goals.

The thing that matters. The impact you're making. The reason this work is worth doing even when everything else feels like it's falling apart.

When you reconnect to that (when you remember why you started this in the first place) you can find just enough strength to keep going.

And then you bring your team back to it:

"I know we don't all agree on what's happening out there. And we don't have to. But what we do share (what we're building together) is [the mission]. That's what I need us to focus on. Not because the other stuff doesn't matter, but because this is what we can control. This is where we make a difference."

What I'm Seeing Right Now

A founder told me last week, voice breaking: "I feel like I'm moving through mud. Everything takes so much more effort than it should."

I said: "I know. I feel it too. And here's what you do: you recognize the heaviness. You let it exist. And then you choose to show up anyway, not by pretending you're fine, but by holding the vision even when it's incredibly hard."

She sighed. And then she led her team meeting later that day with more honesty and strength than she'd felt in weeks.

Another client's team is under tension of fracturing due to differing political opinions. People not really talking to each other. The tension is increasing.

She opened a meeting with: "I'm struggling too. I'm feeling a lot right now. And I know we all might be feeling really different things about what's happening. That's okay. What I'm asking from all of us (and what I'm committing to myself) is that we stay focused on how we show up for our clients and for each other."

The tension didn't disappear. But people could finally breathe.

This Is How Strength Gets Built

Inner strength isn't something you're born with or without.

It's built in moments exactly like this one.

When every fiber of your being wants to retreat and you show up anyway.

When you feel completely unmotivated and you hold the vision anyway.

When you're scared and heavy and exhausted and you lead with compassion anyway.

That's not fake. That's not pretending.

That's choosing. Over and over and over.

What Your Team Needs From You

Your team is watching you right now to see how to respond to all of this.

If you retreat, they'll retreat. If you crumble, they'll crumble. If you lose hope, they'll lose hope.

But if you can feel what you're feeling, hold space for what they're feeling, and still redirect everyone back to what you're building together...

You show them it's possible to keep going even when everything feels impossible.

That's what they need from you.

Not strength you don't have. Not answers you don't possess. Not a version of you that has it all figured out

Just your willingness to rise up (scared, heavy, imperfect) and lead anyway.

If You're Struggling Right Now

If you're reading this and you're barely holding it together, I see you.

These are challenging times, and are harder than anyone should have to navigate alone.

If you need someone who can help you process the heaviness, reconnect to why this matters, and find the strength to lead when you're running on empty, that's what I do.

DM me "STRENGTH" and let's talk.

Stay Strong,

Kasey

P.S. You're allowed to feel heavy. And you're still capable of rising up. Both things can be true.